From “I Do” to “Hear, Hear!”: Tips for Groom and Best Man Speeches 

The wedding ceremony is over, the rings are on, and the bubbly is flowing! Now comes a beloved tradition of many wedding receptions: the speeches. For the groom and the best man, this moment is a chance to add laughter, emotion, and personal touches to the day. 

I’ve had the pleasure of hearing countless speeches – from the hilariously memorable to the deeply moving. To help you deliver a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons, here are my top tips for both the groom and the best man. 

For the Groom: Speaking from the Heart to Your New Spouse (and Guests!) 

This is your moment to shine a spotlight on your incredible partner and thank everyone who has made your special day possible. 

1. Start with Gratitude: 

• Thank everyone for coming: Acknowledge your guests for sharing in your joy, especially those who have travelled far. 
• Thank both sets of parents: Express gratitude for their support, love, and for raising your wonderful partner (and you!). 
• Thank your wedding party: Especially your best man and bridesmaids for their unwavering support and help. 
• Thank your partner’s parents: This is crucial! Welcome them into your family and acknowledge their role. 

2. Focus on Your Partner (Your Spouse!): 

• This is the core of your speech. Speak from the heart about why you love them, what makes them special, and what they mean to you. 
• Share a short, sweet anecdote: A brief, positive story about how you met, a funny early date, or a moment that truly solidified your love. Keep it concise and avoid anything too “inside joke” or embarrassing. Liaise with your Celebrant to make sure there’s no crossover/repetition of anecdotes etc. 
• Talk about their qualities: What do you admire? What makes you laugh? What makes you proud? 
• Express your excitement for the future: Look ahead to your life together and the adventures to come. 

3. Keep it Positive and Sincere: 

• This is not the time for complaints or passive-aggressive jokes. Keep the tone loving and appreciative. 
• Authenticity is key. Your genuine emotion will resonate far more than a perfectly polished but impersonal speech. 

4. Keep it Concise: Aim for 5-7 minutes max. Guests are eager to eat, drink, and dance! Practice helps with timing. 

5. End with a Toast: Raise a glass to your beautiful new spouse. Something simple and heartfelt like, “To my incredible wife/husband, my best friend, my love.” 

For the Best Man: Humour, Heart, and Hilarity (Responsibly!) 

The best man’s speech is traditionally the one packed with laughs, but it’s vital to strike the right balance between humour and heartfelt sincerity. 

1. Introduce Yourself (Briefly): 

• State your name and your connection to the groom (e.g., “Hi everyone, I’m [Your Name], [Groom’s Name]’s brother/best mate/oldest friend.”) 

2. Compliment the Happy Couple (Especially the Partner!): 

• Start by complimenting the bride/groom. They’ve likely spent a lot of time preparing, so acknowledge how stunning they look. 
• “Doesn’t [Partner’s Name] look absolutely beautiful/handsome today?” is a great opener. 

3. Share Positive Anecdotes about the Groom: 

• This is your prime opportunity for humour, but choose your stories wisely! 
• Golden Rule: If you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandmother or their boss, don’t say it at the wedding! 
• Focus on stories that show the groom’s character, kindness, or amusing quirks that everyone can relate to. 
• Talk about the groom’s journey to finding love, how he changed (for the better!) after meeting his partner. 
• Avoid ex-partners, embarrassing stag do stories (unless they are mildly amusing and universally appropriate), or anything that could genuinely upset anyone. 

4. Embrace Self-Deprecating Humour (Carefully):  You can gently poke fun at the groom, but never at the expense of the new spouse or anyone else. A bit of self-deprecating humour about your friendship with the groom can also work well. 

5. Acknowledge the Bride/Groom’s Partner: 

• This is often overlooked! Dedicate a significant portion of your speech to acknowledging the bride/groom’s wonderful qualities and how perfect they are for your friend. 
• “When [Groom’s Name] met [Partner’s Name], it was clear he’d found his other half…” 

6. Keep it Punchy: Aim for 5-10 minutes. Shorter, sharper speeches are always better than long, rambling ones. 

7. End with a Heartfelt Toast: Conclude by raising a glass to the happy couple. “Please join me in raising a glass to [Groom’s Name] and [Partner’s Name] – wishing them a lifetime of happiness!” 

General Tips for Both Speakers: 

• Write it Down: Don’t try to wing it. Write out your speech, even if you just use bullet points as a guide. 
• Practice, Practice, Practice: Read it aloud. Time yourself. Practice in front of a mirror or a trusted friend. This builds confidence and helps you identify awkward phrasing. 
• Don’t Drink Too Much Beforehand: A little Dutch courage is fine, but you want to be articulate and remembered for your words, not your slurring! 
• Use Cue Cards: Print your speech on small, easy-to-hold cards rather than a phone or a crumpled piece of paper. This looks more professional. 
• Look Up! Make eye contact with the happy couple and the guests. Don’t just stare at your notes. 
• Speak Clearly and Slowly: Nerves can make you rush. Take deep breaths and consciously slow down. 
• Enjoy the Moment: This is a privilege and a wonderful opportunity to express your love and well wishes. Take a deep breath and savour it! 

A well-crafted speech adds so much to the magic of a wedding day. Follow these tips, and you’re sure to deliver a memorable and meaningful contribution to the celebration of love. 

Thinking about your wedding day and how to make every moment perfect? As your Celebrant, I’m here to help craft a ceremony that truly reflects your love story, from the vows to the speeches and beyond. Get in touch today to chat about your vision! 

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How to Write Your Wedding Vows: A Heartfelt Guide

Your wedding day is a tapestry woven with love, commitment, and shared dreams. While the rings symbolize an unbreakable bond and the “I do” seals the deal, there’s one element that truly allows your unique love story to shine: your wedding vows. 

As a Celebrant, I’ve had the immense privilege of witnessing countless couples share their deepest promises. And believe me, whether you’re a seasoned poet or feel like you do not have a clue where to start, writing your own vows is one of the most personal and memorable things you can do for your ceremony. 

But where do you even begin? Don’t panic! This isn’t about crafting a Shakespearean sonnet; it’s about speaking from the heart. Here’s a simple guide to help you pen those perfect promises. 

Step 1: Reflect – The Foundation of Your Love Story

Before you write a single word, take some time for introspection. This is the most crucial step!

• Think back: When did you first know they were “the one”? What’s your favourite memory together? What challenges have you overcome? 
• List their qualities: What do you adore about them? Their kindness, their sense of humour, their unwavering support, the way they make you laugh even when you’re cross? Be specific! 
• Consider your shared future: What dreams do you have together? What kind of life do you envision building? 
• What promises do you genuinely want to make? This is the core of your vows. Is it to always listen? To make them coffee every morning? To support their dreams? To never moan about their lego collection?! 

Step 2: Structure – A Simple Framework for Flow

While spontaneity is lovely, a little structure can prevent rambling and ensure you cover all your bases. Consider this common, effective framework:

1. Affirm Your Partner & Express Your Love: Start by telling them how much they mean to you.
   • Examples: “My dearest [Partner’s Name], standing here today, my heart is overflowing with love for you.” or “From the moment I met you, I knew my life would never be the same.”
2. Recall a Memory/Story: Share a brief anecdote or a specific moment that highlights your relationship or encapsulates your feelings. This makes your vows personal and engaging.
   • Examples: “I’ll never forget our first date when…” or “You taught me the true meaning of [equality] when…”
3. Express Your Commitment/Promises: This is the heart of your vows. Be clear, heartfelt, and specific. These are the promises you are making to them.
   • Examples: “I promise to always be your greatest cheerleader,” “I promise to fill our home with laughter,” “I promise to stand by you through every adventure and challenge,” “I promise to love you fiercely, truly, and unconditionally.”
4. Look to the Future: Conclude by affirming your excitement for your life together.
   • Examples: “I can’t wait to build a beautiful life with you,” “With you, I know our future is bright and full of possibility,” “Today, I choose you, and I will choose you every single day for the rest of my life.”

Step 3: Draft – Let the Words Flow (Don’t Edit Yet!)

Now, just write. Don’t worry about perfection, grammar, or length at this stage. Get all your thoughts, feelings, and promises down on paper.

• Speak it aloud: Read what you’ve written. Does it sound like you? Does it flow naturally?
• Aim for a comfortable length: Generally, 1-2 minutes of speaking time per person is ideal. This is usually around 150-250 words. You want them to be impactful, not exhausting!
• Write separately: While you can discuss the tone and length with your partner beforehand, write your vows independently. The surprise and sincerity of hearing their unique promises for the first time is magical.

Step 4: Refine & Polish – Adding Sparkle

Once you have a draft, it’s time to refine.

• Be authentic: Use your own voice. If you’re witty, be witty. If you’re earnest, be earnest.
• Balance humour and sincerity: A touch of humour can be wonderful, but ensure the sincerity of your promises shines through.
• Avoid clichés (if possible): Try to make your vows uniquely yours. Instead of “you complete me,” think about how they complete you.
• Practise reading aloud: This is crucial! You’ll catch awkward phrasing and get a feel for the timing.
• Consider a ‘secret keeper’: If you’re worried about length or tone, you can share your vows with your celebrant (that’s me!) or a trusted friend/family member. We can offer gentle feedback to ensure they’re wedding-ready without spoiling the surprise for your partner.

Step 5: The Delivery – From Page to Promise

On the day, you’ll be nervous – and that’s completely normal!

• Print them out: Don’t read from your phone. Print your vows on nice cardstock, perhaps even tucked into a small booklet or scroll.
• Take a breath: Before you start, take a deep breath, look into your partner’s eyes, and speak clearly and slowly.
• Remember the moment: This is just between you two. Everything else fades away.

Your wedding vows are a powerful declaration of your love and commitment. They are the heart of your bespoke ceremony, and a beautiful memory you’ll cherish forever.

If you’re feeling stuck or would like guidance on crafting your perfect ceremony, please don’t hesitate to get in touch! As your celebrant, guiding you through this beautiful process is part of my passion. Let’s create a ceremony that truly reflects your unique love story. 

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‘It’s not a gay wedding, it’s just a wedding….It’s not a gay marriage, it’s just a marriage’ 

– Pink (American singer-songwriter) 

Marriage equality is thankfully now widely accepted, so the term ‘same sex marriage’ is outdated. In order to be inclusive and accurate we should simply refer to it as ‘marriage’. 

Being an LGBTQ+Ally – In order to be more accepting of broader and more diverse identities, we need to understand how we can support all communities and this requires constant awareness. 

Shifting Language – In a society where all people are equal under the law, it is important that we use language that reflects that. We should adapt our language to be inclusive and accurate. It is important to do so in order to reflect changes as society evolves and legal frameworks change. 

Inclusivity and Respect – A society where all people are equal under the law needs an inclusive and respectful approach. Using ‘marriage’ for all couples, regardless of sexual orientation reflects a fair and equal society, while being more respectful and inclusive. Why distinguish and use exclusionary language when there is no need? 

Marriage Equality – The term ‘same-sex marriage’ can feel exclusionary and reinforce a distinction that no longer exists. Thankfully, in the UK, since 2014, and many other countries, the legal recognition of same-sex marriage is a reality, so this term should now become obsolete. There is no need to reinforce a difference that no longer exists. 

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Every Life Tells a Story – Don’t miss your chance to share it

End of Life Celebrations for Direct Funerals

I recently attended the Association of Independent Celebrants Annual Conference which was a really inspiring event, and high on the agenda was the impact of the rise of Direct Funerals and Cremations.   Whilst there is no denying they fulfil the desires and objectives of a funeral, ‘Direct Funerals’ do not always supply the spiritual support needed to help those left behind come to terms with their loss.

Some Celebrants expressed concerns that people may be choosing Direct funerals for financial reasons, which although completely understandable, means that mourners may be missing out on an important part of the grieving process.  Even if families plan to hold a memorial or Celebration of Life ceremony further down the line, it may be more difficult getting family and friends together weeks, months or even a year or so later.  People may not be as willing or able to book the time off for a delayed memorial or celebration of life ceremony as they might be for a traditionally timed funeral, and a disappointing turnout could be upsetting.

Please just take the time to consider your options carefully and talk through the different types of services available with your family, friends, Funeral Director and Celebrant.

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Vow Renewals – I do – again!

A Vow Renewal Ceremony is a beautiful way of marking a significant anniversary, to reaffirm commitment, or simply a great excuse for a party!

You can incorporate symbolic gestures such as hand-fasting, a re-dedication of rings and involve friends and family members in your readings and poems, as with any other ceremony. You can have the tone as formal or informal as you wish, and include any elements that take your fancy as there is no legal standing to this ritual whatsoever.

A Vow Renewal Ceremony can be a really wonderful way of refreshing feelings and reminding a couple of how grateful they are to have each other.

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Wedding Reform and the upcoming Election – what are the implications?

If an MP knocks on your door over the next few days or weeks, wedding law reform probably won’t be high on your agenda of issues you might want to engage them with, but for most Celebrants it is, and here is a brief explanation of why.

Wedding law is antiquated, and the main law governing marriage dates back to 1836, and in short this means that many couples may end up paying for two ceremonies; a legal ceremony to comply with the law of the land, and a ceremony reflecting their beliefs and values e.g. a celebrant led ceremony. Current restrictions limit choice of venue and these licensed venues are often very expensive and book up years in advance.

Wedding law reform would enable the regulation to lie with the officiant, NOT the location, which would mean a celebrant like myself could marry you in your garden, your local pub or even your kitchen! It is time wedding law was reformed in the interest of fairness and equality. Let’s see what the Election brings, watch this space………..

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Are you planning your own wedding? Are you mad? All the best people are!

Many of us like to think we’re capable of being Wedding Planners – how hard can it be right?! The truth is it really isn’t that hard, you just have to trust the process, hold your nerve and keep lots of to do lists! If you have ever organised any kind of party, event or gathering, you know that it can be frustrating, but that the sense of achievement afterwards was hopefully worth it. Here are some top tips;

• Always try and keep your perspective, it is after all a celebration, and everyone is there to have a good time!
• Don’t assume your partner wants to help – ascertain from the outset how much they want to be involved so you are not resentful if they are not as enthusiastic as you.
• Tackle one job at a time then draw a line under it – flowers booked? Forget about them – trust that you made the right decision and move on to the next one.
• Remember successful events/parties/gatherings you have organised in the past and take comfort from the fact that you can do this!
• Delegate if you need to – if your partner is not confident or able to help, ask a friend or family member to make phonecalls ringing round wedding suppliers etc.
• If wedding overwhelm gets to you, take a day or a week off wedding planning completely if time will allow. Get your perspective back.

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Hundred House Hotel Norton

This charming and quirky venue is one of my favourite wedding venues in the West Midlands. It has a beautiful 17th Century Oak Tithe Barn where the Ceremony takes place, and then is transformed for the wedding breakfast and evening celebrations into a twinkling party barn. The gardens are so lovely, including a herb garden where you can pick herbs that the fantastic chefs will include in your menu, and the food is simply exquisite!

The Bridal party were getting ready in the Bridal Prep Carriage when I arrived to check on my Bride. She was very relaxed, and it was easy to see why as this venue just oozes a relaxed and laid back vibe. The Bridal Prep Carriage is the most adorable bespoke carriage in the quietest part of the gardens where the Bridal party can stay overnight the night before the wedding and get ready in the morning in a relaxed and peaceful environment. It has been a miserable June so far, but thank goodness on the drive over the sun had come out, and the gardens were looking lush and beautiful as I walked through them to meet the groom and his best man to check on their nerves and make sure the rings were in safe hands!

Once I had checked my Bride and Groom were happy and relaxed, and everyone was set, I told the Groomsmen to go the Bar and went and took my place in the Tithe Barn. It was a lovely Ceremony and as the couple left and the confetti settled on another wedding, I crossed my fingers that the weather would hold for the rest of their celebrations!